corilannam: (DD - naughty Santa Simon)
[personal profile] corilannam
So I've been a mess lately. An absolutely freaking mess. It's been so bad the last couple months that I'm seriously considering trying to find a therapist in the new year, as much as that ratchets my anxiety to eleven just thinking about it. My apologies from being so absent from everyone's lives - I've been reading almost nothing lately other than the odd tweet or two, and am just now pulling myself back into the world.

I was so proud that I managed to buy holiday cards this year! I got a set of cute Christmas cards, a set of cute less Christmassy holiday cards, and a set of completely non-Christmas season's greeting cards. Then I lost my address book. *headdesk*

But! I just found it! So if I have your address, you'll be getting a card from me. If you don't get a card from me, it means a) I don't have your address; b) I have an old address for you because you moved; c) I know you don't celebrate Christmas and am not sure whether you would appreciate a non-religious winter greeting card; or d) you live outside the United States and I've misjudged the amount of postage needed.

In the meantime, my mom is here, as many of you have already heard, in the final week of her 3-week visit. She brought her puppy, which she is trying to train as a service dog for herself (!!!). That is going about as well as you would expect if you know anything about my mother. The doggy is terribly cute, despite the awful behavioral issues. I will post pictures if she ever lets me get a non-blurry shot.

We do not traditionally celebrate Christmas in my family, so tomorrow we'll indulge the tradition we do celebrate -- going to the movies and then out for Chinese food. Les Miserables for some cheery good times!

Speaking of cheery good holiday viewing, I am tense with anxiety over the finale of Merlin tonight. Confession: I haven't watched an episode since the start of the Gwen Enchanted arc. At first it was because I was late on my merlin_holidays story and I just didn't have time to do my usual watch-and-review evening, and then it was because after reading everyone else's reviews, I just couldn't cope with my escalating disappointment about this show on top of the rest of my depression.

But for tonight, my expectations are very, very, very low. There's one thing left that I want from this show. There's no possible way it can be what I want at this point, but I have lowered the bar accordingly so really, they just have to put in really minimal effort to meet my heavily revised standards tonight.

I hope everyone is closing out this long year in a peaceful and happy way! *hugs*

Date: 2012-12-24 06:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luckycloverg69.livejournal.com
Hey there :)
I'm sorry to hear that it's been so bad for you lately :( Maybe a therapist can help to sort out your thoughts and feelings, I hope you find a good one if you decide to do so *big hugs*

I wish you a great, peaceful day, going to the movies and Chinese food sound excellent to me :D

Here, I'm dying because it's too hot for my taste, I want some of your cold weather now :)

Big hugs and take care! Yay Santa Simon!

Date: 2012-12-26 02:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] corilannam.livejournal.com
It's all snow and ice today, so I would definitely trade you for some of that South American sunshine!

*hugs*

Date: 2012-12-24 06:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] a-terri-beth.livejournal.com
Happy Christmas, buddy. :)
I hope the New Year will be good to you. *hugs*

Date: 2012-12-26 03:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] corilannam.livejournal.com
You, too! *hugs*

Date: 2012-12-24 07:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] archaeologist-d.livejournal.com
I'm sure Merlin will be better than you expect but nowhere near as good as you hoped.

Have a great Christmas. Happy holidays to you.

Date: 2012-12-26 03:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] corilannam.livejournal.com
It was actually far more painful than I anticipated. Guess I wasn't as ready as I thought it was!

Happy holidays to you, too!

Date: 2012-12-24 08:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] floating-fog.livejournal.com
Oh bb... I'm sorry to hear you had a rough time lately but at least you are pulling back now right? That's the most important thing.

I haven't watched Merlin since the whole Guinevere mass as well, I was just so sick at finding out what they did with that line that I decided to wait untill it's all over and then see it all, like removing a band aid.

Have a merry winter then! <3

Date: 2012-12-26 03:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] corilannam.livejournal.com
I decided to wait untill it's all over and then see it all, like removing a band aid.

Yeah, that's what I was planning to do, but I ended up watching the finale anyway because I couldn't stand not knowing what happened!

Hope you are having a merry winter as well!

Date: 2012-12-29 11:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] floating-fog.livejournal.com
A merry winter indeed! It's rare to have this cold weather and rain here in Israel so we enjoy it whenever it comes.

The bad news are that the site I was watching Merlin through hasn't uploaded the final eps!!!! I have no idea what's going on!!! O_O

Date: 2012-12-24 08:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bunglegirl.livejournal.com
I'm so behind on Merlin too, like I watched 503 last night behind. I've also been reading everyone's disappointment and it's really put me off catching up. I'm here with you, let's hope for the best!

Date: 2012-12-26 03:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] corilannam.livejournal.com
It's definitely been a disappointing season. I'm going to catch up at the new year and just try to enjoy watching the boys!

Date: 2012-12-24 08:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slb44.livejournal.com
{{{hugs}}}

So very sorry you're having a rough time. If you need to talk, you know where to find me, and I'd be more then happy to listen.

Date: 2012-12-26 03:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] corilannam.livejournal.com
Thank you, hon! I hope things are going better with you, too. *hugs*

Date: 2012-12-24 08:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] morrobay1990.livejournal.com
Holy shit! Okay, take a breath.

It's been so bad the last couple months that I'm seriously considering trying to find a therapist in the new year, as much as that ratchets my anxiety to eleven just thinking about it.

Stress, bad. Shrink, good...go for it.

I was so proud that I managed to buy holiday cards this year! I got a set of cute Christmas cards, a set of cute less Christmassy holiday cards, and a set of completely non-Christmas season's greeting cards. Then I lost my address book. *headdesk*

But! I just found it! So if I have your address, you'll be getting a card from me. If you don't get a card from me, it means a) I don't have your address; b) I have an old address for you because you moved; c) I know you don't celebrate Christmas and am not sure whether you would appreciate a non-religious winter greeting card; or d) you live outside the United States and I've misjudged the amount of postage needed.


WAY too much thought on Christmas cards…people you love know that you do...don’t fall into Hallmark’s trap! Even though I love to get cards, it’s still a trap, albeit a beautiful one... :)

That is going about as well as you would expect if you know anything about my mother. The doggy is terribly cute, despite the awful behavioral issues.

Moms and dogs with behavior issues...you have my sympathy. I mean “Moms” period. “And dogs with behavior issues” period.

As for Merlin, think of all the fic out there that you have yet to read, the hours of reliving the best of the two of them...and all the stuff you can write to fix what the writers fucked up...

So. Good things: shrink, mom, dog, Merlin, chinese food, good movie...and a new year to begin again.

All the best!



Date: 2012-12-26 03:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] corilannam.livejournal.com
Thank you for the cheerful thoughts! I feel much better. Focusing on the good things is definitely the way to go. :-)

Hope you're doing well!

Date: 2012-12-24 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gwylliondream.livejournal.com
They can still end it as a gay porno.... right...?!!

Wishing you the best of holidays and a better 2013.

XO

Date: 2012-12-26 03:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] corilannam.livejournal.com
Oh, it's all a gay porno in my head. *g* And I have about six different scenarios in my head where it ends in gay porn, so it's all good now!

Date: 2012-12-24 11:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jacquez.livejournal.com
Anxiety is an awful rat bastard. :(

My MIL is making scallops and pasta for Christmas Eve dinner. Christmas in a 100% atheist family is peculiar. Right after Thanksgiving, my mom tried to give me an Advent calendar. "Mom, we're not Christian." "Neither am I, but that's no reason not to have an Advent calendar!" "It kind of is!"

Date: 2012-12-26 04:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] corilannam.livejournal.com
LOL! Yeah, that's a lot like my mom and me, though I'm more like your mom. Tiny candies under wee pictures every day for a month? Why not!

Scallops and pasta sound delicious!

Date: 2012-12-26 06:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] destina.livejournal.com
I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time of things lately. And I'm sorry that the last ep of Merlin didn't please you, due to all the wasted opportunities. I really do understand. It hit me just now that it's really over, and that set me to bawling all over again. FFS it's been 24 hours, I should be over it.

Sending lots of hugs and wishes that life will get better for you in the new year. Anytime you want to chat, drop me a line. I am around. *hug!!*

Date: 2012-12-26 04:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] corilannam.livejournal.com
Thank you, dear! I'm glad you enjoyed the episode so much--I feel sadly out of step with what's left of fandom about it. It wasn't so much the wasted opportunities as that I just couldn't get past the pain of what was coming in order to enjoy any of the rest of it. It was like someone was driving a spike into my stomach the entire hour. It's been 36 hours now and I still want to bawl constantly. *g*

But I feel all energized to write again, which is kind of a weird side effect. *g*

Date: 2012-12-27 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ella-bane.livejournal.com
I hope you can find yourself a good therapist. I'm sorry to hear your anxiety is so bad. :(

I hope to see you at Dragon*Con again. *hugs*

Profile

corilannam: (Default)
Cori Lannam

October 2017

S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031    

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Oct. 21st, 2017 01:56 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios