corilannam: (DD - naughty Santa Simon)
So I've been a mess lately. An absolutely freaking mess. It's been so bad the last couple months that I'm seriously considering trying to find a therapist in the new year, as much as that ratchets my anxiety to eleven just thinking about it. My apologies from being so absent from everyone's lives - I've been reading almost nothing lately other than the odd tweet or two, and am just now pulling myself back into the world.

I was so proud that I managed to buy holiday cards this year! I got a set of cute Christmas cards, a set of cute less Christmassy holiday cards, and a set of completely non-Christmas season's greeting cards. Then I lost my address book. *headdesk*

But! I just found it! So if I have your address, you'll be getting a card from me. If you don't get a card from me, it means a) I don't have your address; b) I have an old address for you because you moved; c) I know you don't celebrate Christmas and am not sure whether you would appreciate a non-religious winter greeting card; or d) you live outside the United States and I've misjudged the amount of postage needed.

In the meantime, my mom is here, as many of you have already heard, in the final week of her 3-week visit. She brought her puppy, which she is trying to train as a service dog for herself (!!!). That is going about as well as you would expect if you know anything about my mother. The doggy is terribly cute, despite the awful behavioral issues. I will post pictures if she ever lets me get a non-blurry shot.

We do not traditionally celebrate Christmas in my family, so tomorrow we'll indulge the tradition we do celebrate -- going to the movies and then out for Chinese food. Les Miserables for some cheery good times!

Speaking of cheery good holiday viewing, I am tense with anxiety over the finale of Merlin tonight. Confession: I haven't watched an episode since the start of the Gwen Enchanted arc. At first it was because I was late on my merlin_holidays story and I just didn't have time to do my usual watch-and-review evening, and then it was because after reading everyone else's reviews, I just couldn't cope with my escalating disappointment about this show on top of the rest of my depression.

But for tonight, my expectations are very, very, very low. There's one thing left that I want from this show. There's no possible way it can be what I want at this point, but I have lowered the bar accordingly so really, they just have to put in really minimal effort to meet my heavily revised standards tonight.

I hope everyone is closing out this long year in a peaceful and happy way! *hugs*
corilannam: (Default)
Things that are making me happy:

1) Sports Night! -- I was catching up on Craig Ferguson episodes last night, and one of the guests from a week or so ago was Peter Krause. I had a wistful thought that it was a shame that there was no way he'd ever mention Sports Night so many years later. But then he told a random story about when he and Josh Charles flew to Vegas together and saw a Cirque du Soleil show.

2) The Emmys -- I generally consider the Emmys to be a load of BS in terms of actually honoring the best television programs, but occasionally they get it right (probably by accident). I was ecstatic to see Kyle Chandler win (as well as FNL winning for writing). I may have even cried a little. Nice to see some recognition, even at the eleventh hour, for the best show on television in recent years. I was also thrilled to see Melissa McCarthy win, because I like her and it's always awesome to see a woman of size get some positive recognition.

3) Bradley freaking James, the most delicious dork in the world.

4) DADT is officially history today! A Washington Post editorial called it "a massive victory for common sense and decency over bigotry and legalized discrimination," which pretty much sums it up.

Some interesting reading:
--The actual notice of the repeal sent to all Army personnel today
--Nation gives a collective shrug at end of DADT, mostly talking about reactions at the various military academies
--Closeted service member: DADT repeal makes no difference
--Post-'don't ask', gay Navy Lt. marries - this story's been going around a lot today, about the Navy lieutenant who married his partner at midnight, right as the repeal went into effect. They're from Tucson, which makes me extra happy.

5) Colin Morgan!


Things that are not making me happy:

1) I have tremendous, unshifting, boulder-like writer's block. I'm managing to write emails at work, but only barely. I want to finish some stories so badly I could cry, but the sight of an open Word doc makes me flinch away like a vampire who forgot their sunglasses. I haven't even been able to finish editing the rest of my pthon entries to repost. Argh.

2) Exercise. See above, only substitute "athletic shoe" for "open Word doc." Argh.

3) My mom's housing situation is still very much in limbo. She isn't talking about killing herself anymore, at least, which is happy-making. Nonetheless, I beat myself up constantly for not having gone into a career lucrative enough to be able to support her myself.

4) I had a 4th thing, but I can't remember it. This is probably a good thing!
corilannam: (Merlin - pendragon)
I finally managed to type up the wee little Merlin story I was writing during my Royal Wedding all-nighter last week, an epilogue to a story I haven't actually written (yet).

I went and posted it at the Royal Wedding Fest, even though it's pretty clear I missed the bandwagon there. But just in case there's anyone who isn't royal weddinged out yet, it's over here --

Sketches from A Royal Wedding

There, now I can work on those DVD commentaries I owe. And also maybe read something! You never know!

***

Speaking of reading, I've been stuck playing the role of de facto meeting planner all week, which has been kind of fun, but involved a lot of sitting around during some very dry sessions. This allowed me to finally finish reading Game of Thrones, and now my emotions are all in a riot but I can't go seek out discussion because I haven't read the other three books yet.

*flail*

***

Speaking of other things I'm behind on (i.e., life), I went to a mortgage seminar given by my credit union the other week. It's looking more and more likely that within the next year or two, my mother is going to have to come and live with me, due to her housing assistance getting cut more and more. This can obviously not happen in my tiny one-bedroom apartment, so I've been looking into what it would take to buy something that would allow us to live together without going completely insane (she refuses to consider anything where she doesn't have her own bathroom, a yard, and is within scooter-distance of thrift store shopping).

The answer turns out to be, approximately twice what I can actually afford. Not that I can afford to buy anything right now -- holy crap, y'all, it takes a lot of cold, hard cash to buy a house! I think I need a second job.
corilannam: (Default)
My mom has finally gone home, just in time for me to catch the very last night that The Eagle is showing in my local theater. I wasn't planning to go out again tonight (last night was delightful "real" theatre), but I really wanted to get to see it again on the big screen so this is my only chance.

This also reminds me --

A few weeks ago, I found a stack of The Eagle mini-posters at the theater, and obviously I absconded with a stack of them. I meant to see if any of you were interested in one, but then the mama drama started and I forgot about them until I found them on the kitchen table this morning.

So. If a mini-poster for The Eagle would bring some measure of joy into your life, or into the life of a loved one, I'd be happy to send one out to you, free of charge. Just comment or PM me and let me know.
corilannam: (Default)
Catching up with my life in random bullet points -

* Writing -- What's the very best, most productive thing to do when you have a Merlin big bang to write and several other stories in progress? Start writing an Eagle story, of course! (I CAN'T HELP IT)

* Mom -- In the continuing saga of my mother's life, she's heading back to the Cleveland Clinic on the 22nd to see a team of doctors, one of which, we hope, will be able to figure out what the hell is wrong with her and how to make it go away. In the meantime, she may be about to lose her housing subsidy because her apartment management made a mistake on a form. No, it wasn't her fault. No, the government doesn't care.

* Shampoo -- So in my slow ongoing effort to rid my life of toxic chemicals, I started researching some non-toxic shampoo options. Extremely hard to find, even among the so-called green brands. I ended up finding Chagrin Valley Soap, which is relatively local and looks pretty awesome. I ended up ordering a sample of all the shampoo bars they had in stock, and the package arrived today! I can't wait to wash my hair (if I can decided which one to try first).

* The Eagle -- I finally finished the book. Then I spent a very long time making helpless squeaky noises. I don't even care what they do with the movie. You know there's a comm ([livejournal.com profile] ninth_eagle), right? [livejournal.com profile] ninth_eagle, yes. Marcus and Esca are getting me through the day right now.

* Superbowl -- This isn't actually about the Superbowl because I didn't watch, though I did feel a little bad when the pizza guy asked what the score was and I had no idea. So I got [livejournal.com profile] chelseafrew to come over for Movie Bowl, instead. And in honor of the big day, I tried to make nachos. Unfortunately, the Velveeta refused to stay melted long enough to dip a chip in it, but it was a valiant effort.

I remember Velveeta cheese from my early childhood, when we used to get blocks of it in the boxes from the food bank, along with powdered eggs (nothing like eggs, but strangely addictive) and powdered milk (which I would not drink under any circumstances). My mom used to melt a slice of it over a fried egg with some bacon bits (of the salty fake kind) to get me to eat egg yolks (nutritional wisdom was a bit different when I was a child!)

Haven't had it since and have no idea what to do with the half-block I still have left. I suppose I should throw it away (see above about eliminating toxic chemicals).

Oh, Monday

Dec. 13th, 2010 10:21 am
corilannam: (Merlin - stuck at work)
Oh, Monday.

***

Thank you for all the good wishes for my mom's surgery. Unfortunately, it's not going to happen as quickly as I had thought. She had some tests done which revealed three separate infections throughout her system (2 different staph infections and one fungal). Obviously, surgery is not going to be a good idea until those get cleared up.

She's gone on keflex for the staph infections. Unfortunately, she can't get the drugs she needs for the other infection until January 1, because her current senior RX plan is dropping Colorado at the end of the year and they've decided they don't want to pay for anything that expensive this late in the game. This particular medication is $500 even in the generic form, so she has to wait until her new plan kicks in at the beginning of the year. I tried to get her to let me pay for it, but she's stubborn.

Yes, health care in this country is just groovy! No problems at all!

***

I finally got a decent cell phone (Android!), now that Virgin is offering $25/month data plans. I've never been willing to pay $100 a month for a cell phone I don't use that much, but $25 to cover texting, web, and 5 hours of phone (more than I'll ever use) works for me. Unfortunately, the data connection doesn't seem to work most of the time. I guess that's what you get for the extra $75?

But I did manage to download Angry Birds. I'm stuck on level 1-6. Damn pigs with their smug snickering.

***

My fannish energy is rather low at the moment, though I have an intermittent urge to write, if not read. I keep poking at all the things I want to work on in the hopes that something will twitch:

-- my old unfinished Big Bang from 2 years ago where Arthur is captured and sold into the gladiatorial rings (I had abandoned this, but somehow feel inspired again after the last couple episodes of the season. Go figure.)

-- any one of the reel merlin stories I'd like to write, if there's another round. (I already have a good start on a Dirty Dancing story, though my chances of getting that in the actual fest are slim. If not that, I have bunnies for The Eagle and, strangely, Due Date.)

-- plus the usual slew of kinky PWPs for the kmm.

I dunno. Still no energy. I need to find more Arthur fans to talk to.*



*Arthur fans who are not bat-shit crazy cyber-bullies.**
**Not referring to any of you guys, obviously.

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Cori Lannam

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