Alexander the Review
Nov. 24th, 2004 12:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
corilannamSo here is my slightly more detailed, highly prejudiced review of Alexander. To show where I'm coming from, I first read Mary Renault's Alexander trilogy when I was 14, and I've been obsessed ever since. I've been waiting for this movie for a long time, and as a result, I am inclined to be both highly exacting and highly forgiving at the same time.
For a good rundown of ways in which the movie failed, I recommend Roger Ebert's review, which I mostly agree with, and am also greatly amused by. Who ever knew Ebert was going to be demanding more of the man-on-man lovin'?
This leaves me free to focus on the positive, for lo! I am still squeeful.
This will contain vague spoilers, unless you know absolutely nothing about Alexander's life and career, in which case you have a lot of surprises coming. I will give explicit details about the slashy parts (which is going to be of interest to a couple of you, I think) in a separate post.
It's long. It's epic. There are swords and horses and men in skirts. What else do you need to know? Oliver Stone concentrates more on Alexander's psychology than his conquests, which make things interesting when Stone is successful and slightly psychotic when he's not. It's different from many sword-and-sandal epics in that Alexander has no specific arch enemy, other than himself. The audience isn't waiting for him to achieve any kind of quest, but rather we're waiting to see at what point he's finally going to self-destruct.
The movie also goes back and forth in time often enough to make me dizzy. They are kind enough to clearly label where and when we are whenever they switch times and places, but it gives the movie an unnecessarily disjointed feel. Some scenes definitely needed to be longer, so I'm looking forward to the inevitable director's cut.
And yes, all the Macedonians speak with Irish accents. Get over it fast, or it's going to be a long movie (and it's already almost three hours!).
The dialogue is often awkward and corny, but they pull it off most of the time. Fans of Mary Renault will notice that a number of the best scenes were lifted almost word for word from Fire from Heaven and The Persian Boy, which made me very happy indeed.
When Colin Farrell was first cast Alexander, I was thrilled because I find him to be charismatic and powerful as an actor, perfect for this role despite his coloring. When I saw the first trailers, I began to worry that he had been woefully miscast. My final opinion after seeing the entire movie ended up somewhere between the two extremes.
First, let's just take care of the hair issue -- it's awful. The first time I saw Colin, I laughed out loud at how silly the hair looked. It does get better as the movie goes on, simply because the longer scraggly extensions aren't nearly as goofy-looking as the attempt at a shorter Greek cut. They made an attempt with the eyebrows, you can tell, but it doesn't quite work out for them. I'm not sure why they just didn't give him long dark hair and leave it at that. I still would have bitched about how Alexander was blond with grey eyes, but I would have gotten over that in the first ten minutes. A bad dye job lasts (and bugs) forever. When you cast a black Irish actor, you gotta just go with what you've got, and there wasn't anything they could do about the eyes, anyway.
Colin definitely brings the intensity and charisma of Alexander to the screen. He is an expert at playing the brooding, smoldering hero, but he runs into a problem when he has to make the transition into melodramatic rage. Many actors can pull that off without looking slightly silly, but alas, Colin is not always one of them. A couple moments were over the top, but I was deep enough into the movie that I didn't care. He also does crazed and wild-eyed surprisingly well. He isn't the actor born to play Alexander, but I'm not sure I could name a better one for the job at this point in time.
I've seen a lot of pre-movie articles dissing Angelina simply because she's only a year older than Colin Farrell and yet is playing his mother. But she works. Oh, she works. Name me another actor who could pull off the crazy snake-goddess bit like Angelina Jolie. The actors' closeness in age actually helps accentuate the intentional Oedipal overtones. Creepy, but good.
I will get over the fact that Jared Leto is not taller than Colin Farrell, even though it distracted me the entire movie. I don't have a whole lot to say about his performance, since for much of the movie he was a quiet presence off to the side (and I'll get into the times when he's not so quiet later), but he and Colin were well matched. He does have the most incredible eyes, and he uses them well. Hephaistion and Alexander communicate a great deal just by looking at each other, and it's easy to see how Hephaistion's mere presence anchors Alexander. We don't get much of Hephaistion's famous temper, but I'm not complaining.
And I want to specially assure![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
franzi1981 that JRM is indeed present and pretty, especially in the Babylon sections when they all get painted up and decked out in Persian finery. He's a bitchy little snake, which JRM does so well, although sometimes it's hard to figure out exactly what Kassander's deal is if you don't already know. But really, who cares? He's awfully hot, and he's lurking around in almost every group scene.
As we were leaving after the movie, I overheard a guy saying that the battles were good, but they just weren't Lord of the Rings. And that's true. We're all spoiled on LOTR, and nothing is going to be better than that for a long time, if ever.
That being noted, I still love a good, old-fashioned battle scene, and we've got two of them here, one more successful than the other.
It's unfortunate that the defining battle of Alexander's career, against the massive Persian army at Gaugamela, came so early in Alexander's life (and thus, so early in the movie), but it's a terrifically exciting battle. There's really nothing like a good cavalry charge, and after so many years of reading about this one, it was so awesome to see it up on the screen. The Persians looked amazing with their curled beards and golden chariots, and Darius himself was every inch the Great King, directing his troops in aloof silence in contrast to Alexander's passionate exhortations. Just perfect.
One note to screenwriters present and future: please stop trying to reuse the St. Crispin's Day speech. It is always going to sound like the St. Crispin's Day speech, no matter how you try to disguise it. Come up with something else for your inspirational pre-battle peptalks. Thank you.
The second major battle is in India, with the elephants in the jungle, and Stone gets a little wiggy with the camera work. It's cool, though, and worth it for the shot of Hephaistion and Bucephalus near the end. You'll know the one I mean.
And now, the part that most of you are probably skipping straight to --
As I mentioned above, I'll do a separate post with outright spoilers about the specific Alexander/Hephaistion scenes. This is a brief look at how the relationships were handled in the movie, with as few specific spoilers as possible.
I went into this movie not hoping for much on the homoeroticism front. I am a longtime Alexander/Hephaistion shipper, and I didn't think even Oliver Stone would dare put in enough of that content to make me happy. I gave up what little hope I had when I read that there was no kissing (much to Colin and Jared's disappointment!), just "some acknowledgement of the relationship." I figured we'd get a bit of innuendo along the oysters-vs.-snails line, but nothing to get excited about. My biggest hope was that we might get Hephaistion reading over Alexander's shoulder, or even (hope of hopes!) the "He is also Alexander" line. But nothing more than that.
I was so very wrong.
Two minutes after we see Hephaistion for the first time, we get the Arrian quote about how "Alexander was never defeated, except by Hephaistion's thighs." Even then, I was keeping my hopes down, afraid that they were still going to be coy about it, but they were not coy (except about the kissing thing). Hephaistion is acknowledged, by just about everybody in the movie, as the true love of Alexander's life, and they have several tender scenes together to that effect.
They do not kiss, no, although there are moments when they clearly were supposed to. They hug instead, that universal gay-coded kiss-substitute screen hug, because the world just isn't ready for too much gay kissing, and apparently this movie used up its allotment with certain other scenes.
I was worried from the previews that they were going to try to portray Roxane as Alexander's great love, but they didn't. That relationship was handled exactly how I would have done it.
Bagoas was very much present, although he mostly got the treatment I was so sure Hephaistion was going to get -- mostly innuendo, though the innuendo is fairly clear, as is the general sexual vibe between him and Alexander. But he did not interfere with my OTP, so I was happy. This led to one exchange in our corner of the theater around the second or third time we see Bagoas:
chelseafrew: So what, does he just stand around waiting for Alexander to have sex with him?
me: Um, yeah, pretty much.
chelseafrew: He's the perfect silent sex toy!
So overall, despite its considerable flaws, I really loved it. You'll get the most out of it if you're a Renault fan, but your average slash fan is going to get a lot out of it, too.
More on that in the next post. Eventually. *g*
For a good rundown of ways in which the movie failed, I recommend Roger Ebert's review, which I mostly agree with, and am also greatly amused by. Who ever knew Ebert was going to be demanding more of the man-on-man lovin'?
This leaves me free to focus on the positive, for lo! I am still squeeful.
This will contain vague spoilers, unless you know absolutely nothing about Alexander's life and career, in which case you have a lot of surprises coming. I will give explicit details about the slashy parts (which is going to be of interest to a couple of you, I think) in a separate post.
It's long. It's epic. There are swords and horses and men in skirts. What else do you need to know? Oliver Stone concentrates more on Alexander's psychology than his conquests, which make things interesting when Stone is successful and slightly psychotic when he's not. It's different from many sword-and-sandal epics in that Alexander has no specific arch enemy, other than himself. The audience isn't waiting for him to achieve any kind of quest, but rather we're waiting to see at what point he's finally going to self-destruct.
The movie also goes back and forth in time often enough to make me dizzy. They are kind enough to clearly label where and when we are whenever they switch times and places, but it gives the movie an unnecessarily disjointed feel. Some scenes definitely needed to be longer, so I'm looking forward to the inevitable director's cut.
And yes, all the Macedonians speak with Irish accents. Get over it fast, or it's going to be a long movie (and it's already almost three hours!).
The dialogue is often awkward and corny, but they pull it off most of the time. Fans of Mary Renault will notice that a number of the best scenes were lifted almost word for word from Fire from Heaven and The Persian Boy, which made me very happy indeed.
When Colin Farrell was first cast Alexander, I was thrilled because I find him to be charismatic and powerful as an actor, perfect for this role despite his coloring. When I saw the first trailers, I began to worry that he had been woefully miscast. My final opinion after seeing the entire movie ended up somewhere between the two extremes.
First, let's just take care of the hair issue -- it's awful. The first time I saw Colin, I laughed out loud at how silly the hair looked. It does get better as the movie goes on, simply because the longer scraggly extensions aren't nearly as goofy-looking as the attempt at a shorter Greek cut. They made an attempt with the eyebrows, you can tell, but it doesn't quite work out for them. I'm not sure why they just didn't give him long dark hair and leave it at that. I still would have bitched about how Alexander was blond with grey eyes, but I would have gotten over that in the first ten minutes. A bad dye job lasts (and bugs) forever. When you cast a black Irish actor, you gotta just go with what you've got, and there wasn't anything they could do about the eyes, anyway.
Colin definitely brings the intensity and charisma of Alexander to the screen. He is an expert at playing the brooding, smoldering hero, but he runs into a problem when he has to make the transition into melodramatic rage. Many actors can pull that off without looking slightly silly, but alas, Colin is not always one of them. A couple moments were over the top, but I was deep enough into the movie that I didn't care. He also does crazed and wild-eyed surprisingly well. He isn't the actor born to play Alexander, but I'm not sure I could name a better one for the job at this point in time.
I've seen a lot of pre-movie articles dissing Angelina simply because she's only a year older than Colin Farrell and yet is playing his mother. But she works. Oh, she works. Name me another actor who could pull off the crazy snake-goddess bit like Angelina Jolie. The actors' closeness in age actually helps accentuate the intentional Oedipal overtones. Creepy, but good.
I will get over the fact that Jared Leto is not taller than Colin Farrell, even though it distracted me the entire movie. I don't have a whole lot to say about his performance, since for much of the movie he was a quiet presence off to the side (and I'll get into the times when he's not so quiet later), but he and Colin were well matched. He does have the most incredible eyes, and he uses them well. Hephaistion and Alexander communicate a great deal just by looking at each other, and it's easy to see how Hephaistion's mere presence anchors Alexander. We don't get much of Hephaistion's famous temper, but I'm not complaining.
And I want to specially assure
franzi1981 that JRM is indeed present and pretty, especially in the Babylon sections when they all get painted up and decked out in Persian finery. He's a bitchy little snake, which JRM does so well, although sometimes it's hard to figure out exactly what Kassander's deal is if you don't already know. But really, who cares? He's awfully hot, and he's lurking around in almost every group scene.As we were leaving after the movie, I overheard a guy saying that the battles were good, but they just weren't Lord of the Rings. And that's true. We're all spoiled on LOTR, and nothing is going to be better than that for a long time, if ever.
That being noted, I still love a good, old-fashioned battle scene, and we've got two of them here, one more successful than the other.
It's unfortunate that the defining battle of Alexander's career, against the massive Persian army at Gaugamela, came so early in Alexander's life (and thus, so early in the movie), but it's a terrifically exciting battle. There's really nothing like a good cavalry charge, and after so many years of reading about this one, it was so awesome to see it up on the screen. The Persians looked amazing with their curled beards and golden chariots, and Darius himself was every inch the Great King, directing his troops in aloof silence in contrast to Alexander's passionate exhortations. Just perfect.
One note to screenwriters present and future: please stop trying to reuse the St. Crispin's Day speech. It is always going to sound like the St. Crispin's Day speech, no matter how you try to disguise it. Come up with something else for your inspirational pre-battle peptalks. Thank you.
The second major battle is in India, with the elephants in the jungle, and Stone gets a little wiggy with the camera work. It's cool, though, and worth it for the shot of Hephaistion and Bucephalus near the end. You'll know the one I mean.
And now, the part that most of you are probably skipping straight to --
As I mentioned above, I'll do a separate post with outright spoilers about the specific Alexander/Hephaistion scenes. This is a brief look at how the relationships were handled in the movie, with as few specific spoilers as possible.
I went into this movie not hoping for much on the homoeroticism front. I am a longtime Alexander/Hephaistion shipper, and I didn't think even Oliver Stone would dare put in enough of that content to make me happy. I gave up what little hope I had when I read that there was no kissing (much to Colin and Jared's disappointment!), just "some acknowledgement of the relationship." I figured we'd get a bit of innuendo along the oysters-vs.-snails line, but nothing to get excited about. My biggest hope was that we might get Hephaistion reading over Alexander's shoulder, or even (hope of hopes!) the "He is also Alexander" line. But nothing more than that.
I was so very wrong.
Two minutes after we see Hephaistion for the first time, we get the Arrian quote about how "Alexander was never defeated, except by Hephaistion's thighs." Even then, I was keeping my hopes down, afraid that they were still going to be coy about it, but they were not coy (except about the kissing thing). Hephaistion is acknowledged, by just about everybody in the movie, as the true love of Alexander's life, and they have several tender scenes together to that effect.
They do not kiss, no, although there are moments when they clearly were supposed to. They hug instead, that universal gay-coded kiss-substitute screen hug, because the world just isn't ready for too much gay kissing, and apparently this movie used up its allotment with certain other scenes.
I was worried from the previews that they were going to try to portray Roxane as Alexander's great love, but they didn't. That relationship was handled exactly how I would have done it.
Bagoas was very much present, although he mostly got the treatment I was so sure Hephaistion was going to get -- mostly innuendo, though the innuendo is fairly clear, as is the general sexual vibe between him and Alexander. But he did not interfere with my OTP, so I was happy. This led to one exchange in our corner of the theater around the second or third time we see Bagoas:
chelseafrew: So what, does he just stand around waiting for Alexander to have sex with him?me: Um, yeah, pretty much.
chelseafrew: He's the perfect silent sex toy!So overall, despite its considerable flaws, I really loved it. You'll get the most out of it if you're a Renault fan, but your average slash fan is going to get a lot out of it, too.
More on that in the next post. Eventually. *g*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-11-24 10:36 am (UTC)Nice review! I'm all excited about the whole thing even more. And I look forward to seeing your later elaboration on the relationships.
The second I heard they cast Angelina Jolie as Olympia, I thought it was perfect. Sexy and creepy and everything Olympia should be. I'm glad to hear she seems to have lived up to the role.
As for complaining about her being too close in age to Colin: Puh-lease. Eileen Herlie, who played Gertrude in the 1948 movie of "Hamlet," was 13 years younger than Laurence Olivier playing the title role. And Glenn Close is only nine years older than Mel Gibson, who both played those roles as well. I don't see the problem.
Well, it sounds like this will make me plenty happy. Rottentomatoes was showing it as having only a 17% approval rating among critics. (Although one of their pull quotes didn't exactly make me run screaming into the night, as I'm sure the reviewer meant: "Alexander often seems a couple of hearbeats away from turning into a gay porno film." Yeah, that's going to make me not want to see it!) It sounds like a lot of people are complaining mostly about how confusing it is. I'm no great Alexander scholar, but I think I know enough not to be permanently lost.
Thanks, again!
no subject
Date: 2004-11-24 11:46 am (UTC)It is confusing, definitely, but I think anyone who pays close attention won't be too lost. So don't get too distracted by the gay porno. *g*
no subject
Date: 2004-11-24 02:30 pm (UTC)I'll try not to let all that sweaty homo flesh distract me.
They're closing our office early today, so I might be going to the last matinee showing of it this afternoon. Cross your fingers.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-24 11:25 am (UTC)And just because I gotta do my duty: Squeeeeeee, JRM!
no subject
Date: 2004-11-24 11:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-24 11:49 am (UTC)That's good to hear! *bounces*
no subject
Date: 2004-11-24 03:47 pm (UTC)thank you again. *g*
no subject
Date: 2004-11-26 01:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-26 01:13 pm (UTC)i think her writing changed me when i read it in my early teens. she made the past more real than the present. and the description of theseus' choice in the end. wow. that blew my mind in a very good way.
i'll have to catch the matinee of that movie tomorrow. *g*
no subject
Date: 2004-12-04 08:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-05 08:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-24 08:29 pm (UTC)I have been jonesing all day to see the movie again. Alexander and Hephaistion's scenes on the balcony after they've taken Babylon, and the ring scene after Alexander's wedding were enough to make my toes curl. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-11-26 02:14 pm (UTC)Each of their scenes together was better than the last, it seemed. By the time we got to the ring scene, I had my hand clamped over my mouth to keep from vocalizing my great joy. :-) So passionate and intimate -- I never even hoped for anything like that from this movie.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 09:46 pm (UTC)Hello ;)
It's always nice to know where the rest of my brain is when I'm sighing over Alexander and Hephaistion. *g*
Hee. The rest of your brain is sighing in the Chicagoland area ;)
I loved your review -- you're making me itch to run off the theater again right this second.
Thank you! And dittos, I reread yours before going out to see the film again Thanksgiving night ;)
Each of their scenes together was better than the last, it seemed. By the time we got to the ring scene, I had my hand clamped over my mouth to keep from vocalizing my great joy. :-)
Goodness yes. I was trying not to bite all the way *through* my hand by that scene. I regretted not having any candy to chew on to keep from drawing blood ;)
So passionate and intimate -- I never even hoped for anything like that from this movie.
Same here. I was overjoyed to read Colin Farrell's comments in Entertainment Weekly about the absolute love and devotion that Alexander and Hephaistion had (and they were so A/H OTP, it was loverly ;), but I never thought they'd give us what they did. I was praying that we'd at least get to see *some* signs of their love, and, at best, an emotional Alexander when Hephaistion dies. I could've wept for joy when I saw how much they were going to give us.
Sigh. I want to see it again!
no subject
Date: 2004-11-24 11:59 pm (UTC)Okay, no. That's not all I have to say. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! So excited! Hope you don't mind, but I linked to your post. And now I'm anxiously awaiting your second post. *bounces nonchalantly* :D
no subject
Date: 2004-11-26 08:08 pm (UTC)But wait, that remiiiiiinds me... someone I know was talking in the not-so-distant past about having some A/H in progress. I remember squealing happily over the prospect. Now who could that have been, I wonder? *g*
Hello!
Date: 2004-11-25 02:14 am (UTC)Loved it ;)
--Chris.
Re: Hello!
Date: 2004-11-26 08:12 pm (UTC)Thanks again!
no subject
Date: 2004-11-25 07:17 am (UTC)I haven't read the Mary Renault books, although I have the first two. I think it's time to start reading them (but after I see the movie). Hopefully, I'll understand what's going on without knowing anything about Alexander. (I'll just focus on the gay looooooove).
no subject
Date: 2004-11-26 08:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 08:58 am (UTC)*bounces*
My only problem is the fact that I'm an OTP kind of girl, and Hephaestion having to share Alexander with other people bothers me (yes, yes, I know it's another time, another place), but I try to console myself with the fact that Alexander only died for Hephaestion, he of the pretty tighs.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-29 07:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-29 11:38 am (UTC)Now, where Olympias stands in all of this... It seemed to me in the movie, instead of moving towards something, Alexander was running away from his mother.