corilannam | My J/D ficathon story

Now I join the evening wave of ficathon postings. I hope y'all still have a wee bit of reading power left in you. *g*

This was written for

thegrrrl2002, whose requests and restrictions were:

Requests: Post-ascension (descended) Daniel. Smut (doesn't have to be explicit). The Home Shopping Network.

Restrictions: No trees. No kidfic/mini!Jack.

I have done my best to comply. Perhaps a bit too literally. Hope you enjoy it, O Dear Recipient!

Title: Best Laid Plans
Author: Cori Lannam

marzilla
Pairing: J/D
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers for "Space Race." Warnings for Highly Improbable Sexual Encounters and Not Much Else of Redeeming Artistic Value. Thank you to

chelseafrew for the beta!
Summary: The day after the Loop of Kon Garat, Jack has many plans. Daniel is mostly happy to be involved.

Best Laid Plans
by Cori Lannam

"Daniel."

"Hmm." He blinked, then burrowed back into the warmth of Jack's bed and Jack beside him.

Jack's hand slid through Daniel's hair, crown to nape, then tilted Daniel's head back against the pillow they were sharing. His mouth pressed damp kisses down Daniel's neck. Daniel kept his eyes shut, but he sighed with enjoyment, sleep now beyond his grasp. "You didn't get enough yesterday?"

"Enough of you? No such thing. You and your strange ideas, Dr. Jackson."

The husky words made Daniel shiver. Blindly, he turned upwards until his mouth found Jack's warm mouth; his hands found Jack's smooth back; his cock found Jack's solid thigh. They kissed with deliberate languor. Jack's hands moved slowly up and down Daniel's body, at once arousing and gentling him. He let his own hands drift without specific purpose, let the heat between them build as they stole kisses, soft and deep, from each other's mouths, until Daniel's hips arched to meet Jack's increasingly urgent movements.

"Did I tell you about my new idea?"

Daniel shivered again at Jack's hot breath in his ear and pushed his ass back into Jack's hands. "Does it involve at least two condoms and a bottle of Astroglide?"

"If we play our cards right, we can do even better than that."

"I'm listening."

Jack rolled them over, the weight of his body pressing Daniel back into the mattress as he fumbled the drawer of the bedside table open. He rolled back to his side with the half-empty bottle of lubricant that had come home with them brand new the previous evening. Daniel shifted with him and slung a leg over Jack's hip. He squirmed as his cock brushed Jack's over and over. "Talk fast, Jack."

"Mmm." Jack buried his face in the crook of Daniel's neck, not showing nearly enough hurry in getting the bottle open. Daniel wound his arms tight around Jack and rocked their heated bodies together until he heard the snap of the lid and felt the slippery cool liquid drizzle on his hip and thigh.

"Jack." Daniel hissed as the lube trailed down into the cleft of his ass and onto his other leg.

Jack smoothed the liquid over Daniel's hip, coating his hand, teasing his fingers up and down Daniel's thigh. His voice roughened. "So this last mission was...nice."

Nice. Two hours of easy diplomatic work and the rest of the day alone with Jack in the embarrassingly plush state guest rooms, while Sam and Teal'c played with the spaceships. "Yeah, I'd call it nice."

"Carter seemed like she was having a pretty good time, too. Wouldn't you say?"

Daniel's breath caught as Jack's wet fingertip traced a line to his ass, around and into his ass. "C-could we not discuss Sam while your hand is...where it is? I mean, if that's your kink, I'm not going to judge, though I'm just as glad I don't remember anything about-"

He shut up when Jack's teeth captured his lower lip for a moment. Then Jack's tongue slid slowly back into Daniel's mouth, and by the time Jack spoke again, Daniel had long since lost the sketchy thread of the conversation. "I'm just saying it worked out really well all around. Carter had her fun and got her ion drive. Teal'c uncovered a global corporate conspiracy - and you know he loves to do that. And you and I...."

"We had some very impressive teamwork." The last word ended on a groan as two of Jack's fingers sank deep into him. They stroked and rubbed, and Daniel pressed back to encourage them. He fumbled between them, found both their cocks, and squeezed them together in a gentle rhythm. The resultant tremble in Jack's body and voice coursed through Daniel like a drug.

"S-so, if there's one of these space races, there's got to be more, right?"

"Some kind of galactic NASCAR?"

Jack pulled his fingers out, and Daniel groaned into his neck in frustrated protest. Kisses over his ear, throat, and shoulder enflamed him more than they soothed. "Right. So I say, screw all this first contact crap, with the digging and the shooting and the blowing things up."

"You like blowing things up," Daniel mumbled.

"Sure I do. But I like blowing other things better."

The top of the lube bottle snapped again. Then Jack's cooled fingers slid back into Daniel's overheated body and resumed his slow, glorious torture.

"So here's my plan. We find these races. We offer Carter's services to the highest bidder. We get some fancy new technology in exchange. We go home. Possibly we find things to occupy ourselves in between those events."

Daniel pushed himself up on his elbow, out of reach of Jack's distracting tongue, though he carefully kept his lower body well within Jack's grasp. "Sam's services? You want to be Sam's pimp?"

"I was thinking more like her agent." Jack grunted at the rough squeeze Daniel gave his cock, then used his free arm to drag Daniel back down to him. "You have to admit," he said when their mouths parted again, "it's a much more efficient way to acquire all that new technology. Low risk, high reward."

"Very." Daniel panted as Jack finally pulled his fingers free and gently guided Daniel over onto his stomach. "Very high reward."

He turned his head to watch as Jack reached over him again. This time Jack retrieved a condom from the bedside drawer; Daniel arched with blissful impatience as Jack tore it open. The rip of the foil and the quiet wet sound of application made his dick jerk painfully into the mattress. "There," Jack said, running his hands over Daniel's back. "Almost there."

"About time." He breathed deep as Jack's cock bumped against his ass and thigh, leaving a cool, damp trail.

"What the hell?"

Daniel blinked rapidly. It took a moment for the fog in his head to clear, for the roar of blood in his ears to recede enough for him to notice that the pounding he heard was not his heart, or Jack's, but someone at the front door. "What--? Who--?"

"When I find out, I'm shedding some blood," Jack growled. His dogtags jangled onto Daniel's back as he wrapped his arms around Daniel's chest and buried his face in Daniel's neck as though to block out the intrusion. Two voices calling from outside spoiled his effort.

"Colonel?"

"O'Neill?"

Jack jerked upright. "Shit. They weren't supposed to be here until lunch."

Daniel struggled up from under Jack's weight, squinting at the blurry alarm clock. "What time is it?"

"Shit. It's twelve-thirty. They're actually late. Shit."

He bucked Jack off him, rolled off the bed, and scrambled for his scattered clothes, leaving Jack to discard the barely-used condom before finding his own clothes. "Damn it," he said, struggling to button his shirt. "Why couldn't they have been a little later?"

"Sir?" Sam's voice sounded louder, closer.

"Oh, fuck it." Jack, still only in jeans and tags, peered out the slight crack in the bedroom door. "Carter came around the side. She's got a clear view to here."

"Um." Daniel frowned as he finally shoved his glasses onto his face. "Maybe not a good idea for her to see me coming out of your bedroom?"

"You think?" Jack eased the door shut and headed for the window. He flung it open and popped out the screen in an efficient movement that spoke of many teenage groundings. "Especially, let's face it, as completely fucked as you look right now."

Except that he wasn't fucked at all, and as soon as the panic adrenaline wore off, he was going to be bitter about that. "So what do we-? Oh, no. You've got to be kidding."

"Sorry," Jack said, backing him up against the window sill and kissing him quickly. "Out you go."

Then Daniel was tumbling onto the grass outside, head narrowly missing the side of the house as the window slammed shut above him. "Cool your jets, Carter. I'm coming," he heard Jack shout from inside.

He sighed as he righted himself and sat back against the wall of Jack's bedroom. The outside wall of his bedroom. He heard the side door slide open and closed to let Sam in; then the front door opened and shut to admit Teal'c.

Voices rumbled inside and came nearer, until Daniel could distinguish Teal'c's baritone. "We attempted to locate Daniel Jackson before departing the base, but he was not in his quarters."

"Oh, uh, yeah. I remember him mentioning that he had to run some errands this morning. He should be here soon."

That was his cue. He got to his feet, wincing at the slippery feeling in his ass. Jack had tossed him out the window without so much as a handkerchief - out the window, like he was getting rid of his tawdry affair. Which, Daniel supposed, had an element of truth to it. At least his erection had finally subsided, something to be grateful for as he hobbled around the house to the front door.

"Hi, Teal'c." He lifted his hand in a casual little wave as Teal'c swung open the door to his knock.

"Daniel Jackson." Teal'c looked him over slowly. Daniel shifted, uncomfortably aware of his untucked shirt and messy hair. "Are you well?"

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine, Teal'c." He ran his hand through his hair with a sinking feeling that he was only making a bad thing worse. "Um, why?"

"Because you are not wearing any shoes."

They both stared down at his naked feet. "Oh. Um, yeah." He wiggled his toes and grinned, hoping he looked like he had known about his lack of footwear all along. "Yeah, I was in kind of a hurry this morning, and well, you know me."

"Indeed." Teal'c stood back to let him in without further question. Daniel sidled past him, trying to decide whether he should be relieved or insulted that Teal'c had bought his absentminded professor act so easily. He wasn't that spacey, was he?

"Daniel, there you are." Sam's wide smile of welcome made a comic morph into wide-eyed dismay. "Is everything okay? You look a little...."

"Daniel Jackson has forgotten his shoes," Teal'c announced for him.

"What, again?" Jack remarked, coming down into the living room with a quartet of bottles in his hands, three beers and soda for Teal'c. "Drink up. Sun's over the yardarm."

"Barely," Daniel muttered.

"Perhaps Daniel Jackson should refrain from drinking alcohol today."

"Thanks a lot." Daniel snatched his bottle before Jack could pull it out of his reach. He started to sit down next to Sam on the couch, then thought better of it.

"Forget anything else, Daniel?" Jack said in a low voice, brushing past as Daniel propped himself against the fireplace mantle.

"Actually, Jack," he answered loudly, "I was just thinking that I forgot the details of that new technology acquisition plan that you were telling me about. The one where we trade Sam for more ion drives?"

Sam's head jerked up with exactly the expression he was counting on. "Excuse me?"

"Now hang on a second." Jack sat down and lifted a hand in protest, avoiding Sam's look to shoot one of his own at Daniel. "Let me explain. You'll like it."

It was a selectively edited version, but when he was done, Sam sat back with her arms crossed, and her eyebrows performed as accurate an imitation of Teal'c as the width of her forehead would allow. "You want to be my pimp, sir?"

Jack sighed. "Agent, Carter. Agent, business manager, if you will."

"Will General Hammond approve such a plan?"

"Sure, T. What's not to approve? It's win-win-win all around."

"Major Carter?"

"Sam? You okay?"

She looked up. "Oh, yeah, fine. I'm just thinking about what I'm going to do with all the money from the lawsuit."

"Careful, Carter," Jack growled. "You'll change your tune when you're playing with your new naquadah-powered astrobike."

"Whatever you say, sir."

"Glad you agree." Jack stood up and waved his beer bottle before confiscating Daniel's and putting them both down on the coffee table. "Come with me, Daniel. I've still got boxes of your stuff in the second bedroom. We'll find you some shoes. I'll even throw in some socks, if you're lucky."

Daniel followed him to the back, but Jack grabbed his arm when he tried to divert course to the bathroom. "Jack," he hissed. "I really have to go wash up. Immediately. If you know what I mean."

"Don't you dare." Jack dragged him into the second bedroom, kicked the door shut, and plastered Daniel against it.

"God, Jack." It was an unconvincing protest, even to his own ears. His erection had already pulsed back to life, growing more eager as their kisses deepened.

"Can't wait until they leave," Jack whispered into his mouth. "Not waiting."

Such a bad idea, even in the scope of the long history of Jack's bad ideas, or Daniel's, for that matter. But Daniel stifled the groan welling up in his chest and pressed forward into Jack's mouth. He already knew he couldn't wait, either.

He was hot, so hot, when Jack pulled back to get his belt open. He yanked Daniel's pants down his hips, his boxers after them, and Daniel kicked them off. Jack dropped to his knees, seized Daniel around the waist and kissed his stomach as Daniel's cock bumped his chin. He reached behind Daniel and pushed a finger into him again. "Good," he approved into Daniel's navel, moving his finger smoothly in and out on the lubricant still left in him.

"All the walls in this place are like paper," Daniel said, but he went willingly when Jack pulled him down onto his thighs. Jack and all but one part of his body were going to regret this later, but there really were boxes stacked on the bed in here, and so Jack would just have to deal with the consequences of finishing what he started.

"Then we'll have to be very, very quiet."

They kissed again, and kept on kissing until Daniel's impatience took control of his hands and he let them slide down from Jack's head to his belt. Then he heard footsteps behind him, and his fingers froze, curled around the buckle.

"Sir? Daniel? You guys need any help?"

Jack swallowed, and Daniel felt his deep breath before he answered. "Nah, Carter. We're just digging through boxes here. Go keep Teal'c company."

"You're sure? Teal'c's flipping between QVC and the Home Shopping Network again, and I don't think-"

"Go, Carter! For the love of God, keep him away from the phone!"

Daniel leaned his head back against the door, panting silently. His fingers were already resuming their work without any conscious thought on his part, until Jack's jeans were open and his cock was free and hard and ready. Next to his ear, the doorknob rattled.

Jack pressed his palm flat on the door, levering both their weights against it. "Sorry, Cater. Had to move some of the boxes over here."

The rattling stopped. "Okay," she said. "I'll just go order something with rhinestones for your birthday."

"You do that." Jack laughed shakily until her footsteps receded.

Then Daniel could move again, denim scraping against his ass. "Jack."

"Here." Jack fumbled in his flapping pocket until he came up with a new condom. He got it open, got it on, then lifted Daniel up against the door. When he came down, it was onto Jack's cock. He dropped his head to Jack's shoulder, caught the fabric of Jack's shirt in his teeth so as not to cry out.

They rocked together in silence, except for the rustle of their remaining clothes and the wet slide of their joined flesh. Jack's lips moved down Daniel's throat, nosing aside his collar to mouth at the juncture of neck and shoulder. Daniel's fingers moved to grip his own cock; he stopped himself and busied his hands drawing Jack's mouth back to his.

Jack's hands had the same idea. One grasped the back of Daniel's head, the other his ass as Jack thrust up into him faster. Daniel felt the tension mount in Jack's shoulders, tasted his need for orgasm in the stroke of his tongue. Oh yes, both of them were going to regret this, but it was too good, Jack finally filling him, in his ass, and his mouth, and his arms.

Too soon, Jack stiffened and cried silently into Daniel's mouth as his climax shook his body. Daniel rode him gently through the last tremors. He helped Jack ease out of him and tossed the full condom into the wastebasket. Then he guided Jack to lay flat on the carpet. He missed the fullness of Jack's cock, or even his fingers, but his own cock ached almost beyond endurance. He dragged Jack's jeans and briefs the rest of the way off, taking his shoes with them, and started searching the pockets.

"You better have brought two," he said, keeping his voice to a whisper.

"Air Force, Boy Scouts. Pretty much the same thing."

Lightheaded with relief and the demands of his unsated body, Daniel closed his hand over the remaining square packet. He tore it open, threw aside the foil, then froze at a familiar tread outside the door.

"Daniel? You guys coming out anytime soon?"

Jack raised a hand to his mouth and bit down on it, shaking with laughter. Daniel took a deep, calming breath and tried to wet his dry mouth. "Sorry, Sam. Finding everything but shoes here."

She laughed. "Well, don't make Teal'c wait too long for lunch."

"Right," Daniel said, but his voice faded to a croak because Jack had sat up and taken the condom from him and was now seeing to its application. Long fingers petted his cock once it was sheathed, and Jack's dark eyes held him in thrall as Sam's footsteps continued past to the bathroom.

He could hear her flick on the bathroom light and drop her purse on the sink. The bathroom fan whirred loudly, but not loud enough to cover much in the way of incautious noise. Still, he could not look away from Jack as he pressed the other man back to the floor. Sam started to hum and her lipstick case clicked as Daniel checked the condom. It was lubricated, but not as much as Jack had used on him. He had nothing else with which to prepare him; his cock would have to do the work of stretching Jack.

He stroked himself once, looked a question at Jack. "Enough?" he mouthed.

Jack nodded and spread his legs.

Daniel braced himself over Jack's body, felt Jack's long legs come up around his chest, and gasped as the head of his cock slid slowly into Jack's body. Jack echoed his gasp and arched his back with the pain and joy of penetration. When he had his breath back, Daniel pushed into Jack deep and hard, sinking in until his balls found Jack's ass.

In the bathroom, Sam still sang to herself, the contents of her purse rattling as she rummaged through it. Daniel bent over Jack until his mouth brushed Jack's ear, twining their fingers together and stretching their hands over Jack's head until the buttons of their shirts clacked together.

"Does it make you hot?" he breathed. "Knowing Sam's standing there, not ten feet away, while I'm fucking you?"

Jack's entire body twitched his answer, his dick struggling to rise again against Daniel's stomach, his ass clenching tight around Daniel's cock. He turned his head enough to kiss Daniel's cheek, panting in hoarse gusts against his face.

Daniel was thrusting again before he knew that he was, giving into the deep, urgent thrusts his body demanded. Half his mind was buried in Jack with his cock; the other half remained hyperaware of Sam's tuneless humming, so close he could hear the snap of her compact as she closed it. His breath came in noiseless sobs.

Finally, the end became inevitable. He let go of Jack's hands to brace himself on the floor, to push up, plunge deep, and shoot hard into Jack. "Oh." He breathed in time with the dizzying pulses. "Jack."

Jack lay back with his eyes closed and did not answer, though his hands came up to tangle in Daniel's shirt, caress his chest through the dampened fabric, run down his sides.

"Jack," Daniel whispered again. He wanted Jack's attention while he was still inside him, wanted those deep eyes locked with his while the pleasure still rippled through his body. "Look at me."

"Daniel. Not yet."

He understood. He bent down over Jack again to kiss his forehead. His hips rocked his half-hard cock in Jack to keep his attention as he kissed Jack's mouth softly. Then he kissed one eye, then the other, and again until they opened, wet and vulnerable, to look up at him. "I'm here, Jack," he murmured. "Right here in you."

"I know."

Everything but Jack now seemed far away, even as he softened and slipped out. When Sam zipped her purse and walked past toward the living room, she might have been on a different planet entirely.

"O'Neill!" Teal'c's voice called from that direction a moment later.

"Ignore him," Jack said, threading his fingers through Daniel's hair and drawing him back down to kiss. Fortunately, Daniel was already inclined to obey that order.

"O'Neill!"

"Colonel!"

This time Teal'c's tone held a distinct note of "kree!" and Sam's voice sounded like death gliders on the horizon.

"We weren't doing anything!" Jack yelped with a lifetime of overhoned, kneejerk military instinct, and for the second time that day, Daniel found himself sprawled on his ass.

He staggered to his feet and somehow managed to stuff himself back into his pants and stumble out a step behind Jack. When they got to the living room, Teal'c was ensconced in Jack's favorite chair in front of the television, Sam leaning over the back, with respective grim and shocked looks on their faces.

"What the hell?" Jack greeted, then his attention was caught by what Daniel was already watching.

"You can see the Old World elegances of the design," a well-coiffed woman around Jack's age was saying on the television. "Look at the way the gold band twines gracefully around my arm. The inset ruby seems to glow with a life of its own."

"Just think how elegant it would look with even the simplest black evening gown," her companion gushed, admiring the other woman's accessory.

Which was unmistakably a Goa'uld ribbon device.

"Only six of these beautiful items left," the first woman enthused. "And these are unique pieces, never to be seen again on the Home Shopping Network, so don't delay calling for yours. But now we're going to go over to my good friends in our garden section. Bob?"

They all stared for a few seconds after Teal'c clicked off the set. "Well, this is a problem," Jack said at last.

"Indeed."

"I'll call General Hammond and let him know we're on the way in," Sam said, digging for her cell phone.

"Can we drive through someplace on the way?" Jack said as he headed for the door. "I'm starving."

His complaint, and their progress, stopped short when Teal'c turned and blocked them in the vestibule. He looked Daniel up and down. "Daniel Jackson still has no shoes."

"Oh," Daniel agreed weakly, looking down at his incriminating feet and uncomfortably aware that he had put on his same damp boxers.

"And now you are also unshod, O'Neill."

Jack looked down at his own feet, then shrugged with a casualness that was probably convincing to anyone who hadn't been fucking the man less than five minutes before. "Oh, yeah. Just didn't want Daniel to feel awkward."

Teal'c gave a small sigh, almost imperceptible, but amplified by Daniel's guilty conscience. Chastened, he hurried after Jack to find their missing shoes - and with any luck, a change of pants.

"At least Teal'c didn't change the channel five minutes sooner," he said.

Jack smiled back with that certain smile that threatened to make the world fade away again. "Indeed."

***

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